"Let's don't say goodbye, I hate the way it sounds...So if you don't mind, let's just say for now..."

Hellurt.
Short and sweet:
1. I love my new friends.
2. I miss my old friends.
3. Sophie amazes me every single second.
4. I'm slowly but surely going insane.
5. I've felt sick for going on 4 days.

See you when I see you,
Macy

"But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded That for me it isn't over..."

Well here we are, a million years later...or so it seems.
I was reading my last post and un-surprisingly, not a lot has changed since then.
I wish I could say otherwise, but I can't.

I discovered Adele's new Album, 21, and it's all I've been listening to.
It's absolutely incredible. Every song about her ex/break-up/feelings, and I understand whole-heartedly.
It hits hard, and closer to home than any other entire album I've ever listened to.

I'm still a mess, still single, and still wishful thinking.
It seems pretty pathetic to keep on posting these self-pittying rants, but better talking to a computer screen than boring everyone else with it?

I feel like a lot could've went differently since January. A LOT.
No one seems worth trying for - I've had SO many ups and downs and all-around since then that I probably wouldn't know what to do if a well worth it relationship opportunity slapped me in the face.

Sure I can sit around and wish and hope for someone to come along and sweep me off of my feet and make me happy and make "it all disappear", but that wish alone makes me sick.
Why does it matter? Why isn't being single and being a kick-ass hard working mom good enough?
Who knows, who knows.

It's 2:22am, this is a bit ridiculous.

Take it all with my love,
Macy

It's been a while...

Here are some things/thoughts that have been consuming my mind/life recently:
-If I had a dollar for every cigarette I've ever smoked, I'd be rich. (disgusting)
-If I could get as excited about school as I do a phone call saying "THEY'RE OVER!", I'd be valedictorian.
-I'm broke.
-My daughter will be TWO in less than a month, now.
-Beauty school sounds so heavenly.
-I have 3 pages of my research paper due...oh...TOMORROW.
-I need some suppport.
-I need a good guy.
-I need a lot of things...

"You've got a gypsy soul to blame, and you were born for leavin'..."

I had a fantastic conversation with my best friend, Natalie, tonight.
It's always good to escape and talk to her for a while, even though we usually just talk about the past and how much fun we HAD and how it COULD be if nothing changed...that gets a little depressing, but it makes you think...Ohhh, how it makes you think...

I have changed tremendously over the past year or so.
My friends packed up and went their own ways (which I'm proud of/support them), I started college, reunited with my old friends, and made some new ones.
It's been one hell of a roller coaster.
I would've never thought that I would celebrate my daughter's FIRST BIRTHDAY the summer before my freshman year in college. Blows.My.Mind.
There are things I miss about my past, but in all reality I am so excited for my future that I can hardly wait to see what it holds.

There is one thing I can't get off my mind, and it makes no sense to me.
I keep going back through it in my head, rewinding and reliving every move I/we made and I can't figure it out at all.
The thing that I can't understand the most is that this has made me think and want back more than I ever did when I lost "my first love"...It is mind bottling and ridiculous.
Get outta my braaaaiiiinn, geez.

GOOD NEWS:
My Spring Break starts at 3:15pm tomorrow! WOOHOO!
I have a project due that i should proobbably start on, right now.
and a Mid-Term that I should prooobbably be studying for, right now.
So I'm gonna get to it, as long as I can get my eyes off of intervention.

Ohhh, I wanna see you again...

"I should've known you would bring me heartache...Almost lovers always do..."

Even though I missed my mini-me SO MUCH over the weekend, it was kind-of good, in a way.

I think I needed to be away in order to appreciate the time I do spend with her even more. 

Ohhh how I loved those little arms wrapped around my neck this morning. 

I think I need an intervention for my addiction to the show "Intervention". 

It honestly fascinates me! 

It too, makes me appreciate my life even more. 

My girls are in PCB right this moment, for the rest of the week.

I would honestly give ANYTHING to be right there with them.

But, hopefully we'll all reunite there this summer. :)

I'm too focused on Intervention to write this blog.

Sorry if it's been a waste of your time. Hah.

Oh yeah, the title of this one, it's a lyric from "Almost Lover" - A Fine Frenzy.

And it's soooo true.

<3

Vitamins and nothing...

"Cause if you take your vitamins and pay your taxes and never the cut the line, the universe still gives you people to love and then lets them slip through your fingers like water, and then what have you got? Vitamins and nothing…." - Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy 

I am Sophie-less for the weekend, so this is how I'll be spending it:

"That's a little trick we used to use on the Jap's..."

That picture you see there, that's what it's supposed to be like.

That's normal.

And that...that, is friendship.

Oh, I love Team Ethan.